


It's Kind of a Funny Story

by chokosnails



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Bi Miles, Gen, Lesbian Gwen, May Parker and Doc Oc mentioned ;), all the other spiders are mentioned, ships mentioned too but it's not a romantic fic, something short and sweet and silly u feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 11:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17182133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chokosnails/pseuds/chokosnails
Summary: Miles attempts to tell his parents that he's Spider-Man and things do not go according to plan.





	It's Kind of a Funny Story

**Author's Note:**

> If you read and get something out of it, let me know! Constructive criticism is welcome!

It was a good night for it and Miles knew that. He was out of class for winter break and his mom and dad both had the night off. It wasn’t very often that they could all spend a quiet evening in. When he was younger, on nights like this, they’d play his favorite games in their apartment and Miles’ biggest problem would be holding in his giggles while tucked into a cabinet as his parents would very loudly wonder how their baby was so good at hide-and-seek.

Now, it’d be them watching a movie together and chiming in with their own commentary here and there, which was usually more entertaining than whatever films his dad had gotten from Redbox on the way home. These nights were fun and a pleasant reminder to Miles that as much as he didn’t want to be babied or lectured at his age, he and his family could still come together at the end of a long day and enjoy each other’s company. He wasn’t moody or embarrassed enough to not realize that some people would love to have what he had.

His mom was making them some champurrado while his dad stirred batter for pancakes. Miles absently washed and dried dishes and let himself get lost in thought, surrounded by a warm atmosphere and comfortable noise. As he weighed his options more his hands began to shake and if it hadn’t been for his sticky grip, he would’ve dropped and shattered his mom’s favorite bowl. He inhaled as slowly and silently as he could and tried to exhale all of his nerves out. 

Miles dried his hands when he was done and went over to the living room to pick out a movie. He was surprised they still let him pick most of the time, when he usually selected whichever movie he could remember one of them complaining about. But a cheesy, poorly-written movie inspired better banter than a decent one. Maybe that was why they kept letting him pick, he thought to himself with a small smile.

It was a good night to break the news that he’d inherited the position of Spider-Man and he probably wouldn’t be getting one like this soon, he thought more somberly. Miles paused his browsing to look back at his parents in their cozy kitchen, working beside each other, chatting, teasing, smiling. Completely happy and at ease. 

On one hand, he’d hate to disrupt the mood that’d been established. He couldn’t really see a way for this night to be steered back in a normal direction after dropping a bomb like that. He had a good clue of how it might go. His parents would be surprised, shocked, probably horrified at what their son had survived. They’d no doubt be shaken by the knowledge of what Miles did at night and he knew his parents would try to stop him.

He knew it would be a painful conversation, explaining to them why he couldn’t leave the people of his city to fall victim to whatever disaster was brewing next. He also knew how his dad felt about vigilantism. They could try to stop him from going out and putting himself in harm’s way to keep countless people safe. And then he’d have to disobey them and do it anyway, because who else would be there? 

His mom would be sad and scared for him, endlessly fretting. She’d definitely smack him upside the head for all the reckless stunts he’s pulled. His dad… that’d be much worse. There were many ways his dad could take the news and none of them reassured Miles. Just when he’d started connecting better with his dad and alleviating some of the tension, he might kick all that progress down to pieces; make things more awkward and stiff than ever before.

Miles felt so helpless and was painfully reminded of the one person he used to trust more than any other to forget his fears with. The image of uncle Aaron’s easy grin steeled his resolve. He hadn’t known it was necessary at the time, but maybe if he’d rushed to his uncle’s place instead of the cemetery, he could’ve explained himself.

Maybe uncle Aaron would’ve tried to help him or at least keep him out of sight of everything trying to kill him. Maybe, if uncle Aaron hadn’t found out about his identity the way he did, he’d still be-

Miles shook his head of those thoughts. He couldn’t bring his uncle back. He looked again from the DVD’s in his hands to his parents, now serving tall plates of hot pancakes and steaming mugs of champurrado. They didn’t have to find out like uncle Aaron did. They didn’t have to unknowingly fall into danger because of Miles. They didn’t have to stay in the dark, unprepared for what could happen. 

He couldn’t bring his uncle back but he’d do anything to make sure he doesn’t lose his parents, too. With another shaky breath, he popped a random disk into the DVD player as his parents walked in. His dad hip checked him and passed him a plate of pancakes. His mom handed him his drink and sat down beside his dad. He gladly accepted both and took up his usual spot on the ground, with his back against the couch and his head against the cushions. 

“So what’s it gonna be tonight?” his dad asked as he cut into his food.

“See for yourself.” Miles lifted up the movie’s case and smiled as his dad groaned. 

“I didn’t think you’d do this to me, Miles.” He dragged his hand down his face as his wife and son laughed mercilessly at him. “Figures. You been in a good mood all day, just putting me in a false sense of security so you could turn around and torture me.”

“It’s not supposed to be that scary!” Miles defended. “My roommate said it’s alright.”

“Miles, your roommate isn’t as superstitious as your dad.” Rio rubbed her husband’s shoulder with some sympathy. “Ay, Jeff, relax! It’s only a movie.”

“No, no- relax? It’s not just a movie, I heard it’s based on a true story!” He nudged Miles with his foot. “I don’t see how your idea of a good movie night involves watching a possessed nun bite people’s heads off.”

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t bite people’s heads off.” Miles shrugged. “But there’s only one way to find out.”

“Oh, come on.” He slumped into the couch dramatically with the desired effect of making Rio laugh more. “I’m trying to keep my pancakes in my stomach where they belong, I can’t…” Their chatter jumbled together as Miles watched the commercials that came with the movie. This was nice. But he knew it was also a distraction. 

They could watch the movie and make fun of the effects and Miles’ dad’s reactions and he could keep it all to himself. That wouldn’t help anything though, would it? His mom said so herself, their family doesn’t run away from things. He wanted to stop lying to them through his teeth and he wanted to stop tonight.

Miles gingerly set his plate and mug on the coffee table. He picked up the remote and pressed ‘mute’. He set it back down and waited without turning to look at his parents. Soon, his mom saw how still he was and gently drew her husband’s attention to their son. Miles didn’t budge.

“Miles? Is something wrong?” Rio scooted a little closer to him and put a warm hand on the back of his head. 

“Nothing’s wrong, mami.” He murmured. “I’m just – I’m glad you’re both here.”

“Alright,” it was his dad’s turn to put his food down. “Where’s this coming from?”

“I miss you guys sometimes, you know?” He started with what he knew how to say. “And I’m glad I have both of you and it’s good to be here with you when we all get the chance. I love you guys.”

“Miles…” his dad said, “We love you too.”

“We do.” His mom began slowly scratching circles on the back of his head and Miles felt like a little kid again.

“And I’ve just been thinking, I guess, that. Anything could happen. And we never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow and whether or not we could have nights like this again.” He felt his mom’s hand still and saw her look to his dad out of the corner of his eye.

“How do you mean, papi?” She continued the invisible patterns.

“None of us knew what was gonna happen to uncle Aaron.” He said. Something in the air shifted immediately and he could hear a sharp intake of air from his dad. “We can’t bring him back now and get our goodbyes.”

“Miles,” his dad started. “You know he loved you, too. No matter what he did in his life, I know he was good and I know he wanted you to be happy. I wish I could have done more to make sure his path didn’t take that turn.”

“What?” Miles gaped. “Dad, this isn’t on you, it’s-” he couldn’t say that. “It was out of your hands. He wouldn’t have wanted you to blame yourself.” He knew his uncle wouldn’t want Miles to blame himself either, but those thoughts were for another night.

“Yeah.” His dad looked wistful. “He wouldn’t.” 

“But, what I’m trying to say is,” Miles closed his eyes and continued, “he’s – he’s not around anymore. I used to tell him everything, all the time. And now I’m not gonna get that chance again.”

Then he’d forgotten all the words he’d recited in his head so many times and he was lost. No script to turn to, no backing out and acting like he was only being sentimental and rambly. Of course leaping out the window and using the tops of neighboring building to get far, far away was a viable, if extreme option. He failed to notice that his hands were visibly shaking where they rested on his knees. He couldn’t do this.

His mom turned his head enough so she could look at him. “Hijo, breathe.” He obeyed, taking in a shaky breathe that was almost a hiccup. But they just let him catch his breath, watching quietly. Miles licked his lips and exhales.

“I still have both of you.” He said, finally. “For now, I still have this chance, with you two.”

“Hey,” his dad moved in closer, “We’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“You don’t know that.” His voice was small and broken but the impact of his words hit them nonetheless. “None of us do. And I’m – I’m sorry.” He coughed. “I didn’t even mean to start talking about death so much, that’s not what I wanted to talk about tonight, I…” 

“What did you want to tell us, then?” his mom asked gently. He knew what he needed to say and what he’d been dying to tell them and had absolutely no way to put it into words that could pass through his lips. “Spider-Man”, “bitten”, “powers”, “alternate universes”, they all felt too heavy, too sharp, too real. 

“It’s not easier! I don’t know how to – I can’t…” he struggled for a full sentence. “I can’t say it.” He felt another hand on him and turned to see his dad holding onto his shoulder firmly. 

“Miles, you can tell us anything.” He said it and Miles really believed him. “Take your time.” So he did. Miles spent another thirty seconds, carefully pulling together words that he could stomach into something that made sense. He looked up at his parents’ faces again and it was too much. He quickly brought himself up between them on the couch to wrap an arm around each of them, his face buried in the space between. They made small noises of surprise. He moved his head back some to speak clearly. 

“I love you guys and there’s something about myself that I want to tell you that I can’t. I’m sorry. I don’t know how else – I don’t know how to say it.” He finished lamely, refusing to look up again. He hoped he hadn’t rushed his words too much, he didn’t want to repeat himself. It was the weight of his parents’ arms around him next that broke him down. He wept as quietly as he could, feeling ridiculous. But they just held onto him for a while as his shoulders shook. 

“You…” his dad cut into the silence. “Miles, I think I know what you’re trying to say.” 

“You do?” Miles sniffled, then turned his head in his mom’s direction. “Mami?”

“I… pues.” She began. “I’m not going to lie, I’m a little surprised. But your dad and I talked about this before.” 

“You did?!” Miles’ voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “I mean, sorry – you did?”

“Yeah, not too long ago.” His dad said. “We just – I brought it up because I had my suspicions and your mom agreed with me, we thought something might be up. We only ever talked about it once.” 

“So,” Miles glanced between them, nervous, “What did you say, then?” His parents exchanged a look over his head. Miles couldn’t read either of their expressions well enough to determine his fate.

“We said that you’ll always be our son and that all we want is for you to be happy and safe. Nothing’s gonna change that.” Rio told him. Miles could feel his eyes water again.

“You’re not mad?” he asked.

“No!” they both said fiercely. They almost looked horrified that he would suggest that.

“Miles we understand enough to know this isn’t a choice for you, not really.” His dad said gingerly. “But, going back to safety… I know you’re old enough and you’ve seen enough to know that this could put you in a lot of danger. There’s so many people who don’t know you, who don’t know you’re just a bright, good kid who’re gonna want to hurt you because-”

“Jeff!” Rio admonished him.

“I just-”

“No, no,” Miles piped up, “You’re not wrong. Believe me, I get it. But I’m being as careful about it as I can.”

“So, then, does anyone else know?” His mom asked.

“Yeah, I told my roommate almost a month ago, he was cool about it. Also, um, a handful of friends who’re like me but that’s it. Not really something I want to broadcast, you know.” He smiled ruefully. 

“And you’re okay with that? You wouldn’t want to tell anyone else?” His dad asked.

“No, not right now, at least.” Miles sighed. “Just like, when I make it known to the world, there’s no going back. And if people start treating me differently and my life changes in a way I don’t like, I can’t just take it back. Plus,” he added, “there’s not really anyone else who needs to know, right now.” Suddenly, his mom surged forward and wrapped him up in a tight hug. He hugged back, still so full of unprocessed gratitude.

“Miles, I’m so happy you told us.” Now his mom was wiping her eyes. Oh god, did he really make her cry? “I know it couldn’t have been easy to open up to us like this but – ay, hijo, ya sabes que te queremos muchisimo. I’m just so glad you know you can trust us.” His dad came and wrapped his arms around the both of them. Miles smiled and let out a shuddery breath.

“You’re a really brave kid, you know that?” His dad patted his back.

“I still get pretty scared, sometimes.” Miles admitted.

“That’s just what bravery is, Miles. Knowing your fear, facing it, and not letting it keep you down or keep you quiet.” Miles was going to give his dad a watery thanks when his dad continued. “With the way the world is, I’d say it’s pretty damn brave to love who you love.”

Uhhh?

“Thanks?” Miles managed. What did that have to do with anything?

“That’s right.” Rio assured him. “Whoever you want to marry some day, as long as it’s someone good who treats you well, we’ll support you.”

Wait…

Wait. 

Hold up. 

Gears started turning in Miles’ head faster than he could keep up as he ran through the past half-hour or so. Washed dishes, picked movie, sat down, stalled, started talking, got a little too dark, reeled it back in, got overwhelmed, started crying, choked out a confession…

Never explicitly explained to his parents that he’s Spider-Man…

Never heard his parents use any Spider-Man related words or phrases…

No mention of fighting crime or vigilantism…

Only… only “you’ll always be our son”, “we know this isn’t a choice”, “a lot of people are gonna want to to hurt you”, “queremos muchisimo”, “love who you love”.

Oh, wait, holy shit.

No, surely he must have said something that wouldn’t have pointed them to that conclusion. Let’s see: “there’s something about myself I want to tell you that I can’t”, “you’re not mad?”, “I’m careful about it”, “friends who’re like me”, “people would start treating me differently”. 

Ohhhhh. Oh, Fuck.

Miles’ stomach dropped down into the floor as he hugged his mom to keep his gaping mouth from being seen. With each passing second of understanding of what he’d just done, Miles’ mortification rose higher than the skyscrapers he’d lounge on. His instincts wisely told him to keep his mouth shut and just keep hugging his mom. And then his mind helpfully supplied him with another snippet from the conversation that now hit him like a rock between the eyes.

“Hey, wait, dad.” He turned to his dad, letting a fraction of his confusion show. “Did you say you had… ‘suspicions’?”

“Hm? Oh!” his dad averted his eyes and cleared his throat. “Well, yeah, you know, just little things here and there that got me thinking.”

“You need to elaborate right away.” He said. His dad, a coward of a man, turned to his wife for help. She rolled her eyes fondly.

“Miles,” his mom patted his back and gave him a smile that fit somewhere between patient and gently teasing. He already didn’t trust her tone. “Do you ever notice how much you talk about your roommate?” It was then that he gawked openly at them as he floundered for – defense, justification, something!

“That’s not-! How is that-? He’s not- ok first of all, Ganke and I are just roommates.” To his embarrassment, his dad now had on the same teasing look his mom did.

“Uh-huh.”

“No, okay, we’re friends, just friends! He’s a great guy, but-”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! It’s not weird for me to mention him from time to time, we occupy the same space for at least half of the school week!”

“No one said it was weird!”

“You –stop looking at me like that!” he pulled a throw pillow over his head once he heard snickers. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true and stop.”

“We’re not thinking anything!” his mom said at the same time his dad added:

“Well, I’m at least hoping that all works out well, friends or not. If you say he’s cool about it then that’s good, I believe you. Just, you know, you’re learning new things about yourself and you’re growing and I trust you’re going to be responsible enough to-”

“NO!” Miles cried, pressing the pillow over both his ears. “No, no, nuh-uh, nope! Don’t need to hear any of that, thank you! You know what would be great for us to do instead? Watch this movie, that’s what.” Miles quickly snatched up the remote, slid back down to his place on the ground, pressed play, and put the volume way up to drown out his parents’ continued laughter. It didn’t work.

They watched the movie and managed to unwind a little, Miles less so than his parents but the now-cold pancakes and champurrado helped. Not a very eventful hour and a half, thank god. And Miles got back at his dad by joining in with his mom’s teasing whenever he let out an undignified noise at a jump scare. 

Afterwards, when they were all tidying up around their living room and kitchen before bed, his parents tried to gently coax more conversation out of their still-frazzled son.

Despite his parents’ calm, open demeanors, his adrenalin was still more spiked than Miles would have wanted and he could not offer them anything substantial. He managed as well as he could be expected to. 

“How you feeling now?”

“Good! Yeah I’m alright, I’m fine.”

“You seem a little jumpy, hijo.”

“Aw, that’s just, uh, leftover nerves. From the movie! And the other thing, but mostly the movie.”

“You know you can tell us anything, right Miles?”

“Yeah! I got it, don’t worry. Thanks, goodnight, sleep well.”

After the last dish was put away, Miles rushed to his room, turned off the light, and face-planted into his bed. He was silent and still as a rock for a few moments. When he heard his parent’s footsteps move over to their own room, the sound of their faucet and finally the door closing behind them he finally sagged into the mattress. He groaned, quietly, but with a lot of feeling. 

There were no fitting words, no fitting thoughts. Only unnamed emotions and residual nerves running too wild in his head to let him sleep. This… was not how the night was supposed to go. He hadn’t really gotten close to telling his parents about Spider-Man and now he had a whole new thing to worry about. But… did he really have to worry?

Despite not going the way he’d planned even a little, the night had gone objectively so much better than any scenario he’d been preparing for. And… he couldn’t help but feel a strong surge of love and gratitude to his parents. They hadn’t questioned him, they hadn’t belittled him or tried to make him feel ashamed or make him second-guess himself.

Not for the first time that night, Miles felt very lucky to have the parents he had, when so many people had so much worse. That thought was enough to finally bring some proper exhaustion to him as he moved around to take off his shoes and properly cover himself. He pressed his head against his pillow and felt a small smile coming on.

So maybe he didn’t tell his parents about his powers and maybe being Spider-Man had different stakes than, uh, being LGBT. And maybe Miles knew damn well he wasn’t gonna attempt to spill again anytime soon, save himself another heart attack for later. But he felt reassured in the knowledge that when the time came for him to explain his powers and his role for the city to them, they’d still want the best for him.

Soon enough, he promised himself. Just not tonight, geez. He drifted off into an uncomfortable slumber and dreamt of nuns trying to steal his pancakes and his Spider suit.

-*-  
Four and a half years later, Miles sits beside his friend and fellow spider, Gwen Stacy as she laughs raucously and nearly teeters over the edge of the building they’re sitting on. Miles would be concerned if he didn’t know she could stick or swing to safety. He’d care at all if she wasn’t laughing at his expense.

He’d first told her the story of how he actually told his parents that he’s Spider-Man. Then, he hesitantly mentioned his failed first attempt to do so. Now, after wheedling all the details from him, Gwen was enjoying herself immensely.

“You-” she wheezes, “you’re lying. You have to be lying.”

“Why would I lie about this?” he asks, a hand on his chest in mock offence. “I thought we were opening up to each other, here, and you’re gonna call me a liar?” She snorts and he has to bite back a small smile. “What about that makes it sound like I’m not telling the truth?”

“Um, all of it.” She pauses. “But at the same time, none of it. I guess it makes sense for you to have officially come out as bi to your parents before knowing it yourself.”

“Oh yeah, and how’s that?” he crossed his arms.

“I mean that, if this would happen to anyone, it makes sense it happened to one of us, you know?” her smile turns wry. “We just have that kind of luck.”

“Yeah, I get you.” He leans back on his hands. “We all got that tendency to end up in very specific, excruciating, cosmically cruel situations.”

“Yup.” Gwen sighs out one last laugh. “I can’t even give you that much shit for it, though, considering how I came out to my parents.”

“You can’t say you won’t give me shit after you already laughed at me for that long in the middle of my story!” Miles bumps her shoulder. “You didn’t even let me get to the part where I actually found out I’m bi, like, two years later.”

“Was it as funny as the first part of the story?” she asks, inspecting her nails in exaggerated boredom.

“I mean like, objectively, no, but-”

“Anything to do with your roommate?” she asks innocently.

“No!” Miles’ face goes hot. “I mean, technically he was in the same room as me when it hit me-”

“And in your line of vision.” Gwen guesses.

“It was just – the timing. Coincidence.” He says.

“You do talk about him a lot.” Gwen says, unhelpful and terrible.

“You’re not the first to notice.” Miles rolls his eyes. “Hey wait, I didn’t know you came out to your parents! How’d that go?” He sees her grimace. “Wait, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s-”

“No, it’s fine,” Gwen sighs. “Promise you won’t laugh, though.”

“Are you serious? How’s that fair? I should be able to laugh as long as you did, if not more.” Miles reasons.

“Ok, then, promise you won’t laugh to my face.” Gwen says.

“Hm.” Miles taps his chin. “That’s doable. So, how’d you tell them?”

“Weeeell,” Gwen draws it out, “I did and I didn’t.”

“Uh?”

“Here’s what happened: you already know I started dating my MJ almost a year ago and I like her a lot, I was feeling pretty proud of myself for snagging someone like her.”

“Awww.” Gwen makes a move to shove at him but he leans back in time to dodge.

“Shut up, I still feel that way!” she says, face warm.

“I was being genuine!” Miles puts his palms up. “I’m happy for you! You should feel proud.”

“Thanks.” She smiles. “Anyway, my parents love her but we didn’t make our relationship known for a bit because we just wanted some time to ourselves to see where things went. She was out, her family was already cool with it and I knew my parents wouldn’t freak out or anything, so. Like, logically, I had nothing to worry about, except that actually telling them felt huge and scary and I kept putting it off.

But one night, I came home pretty late after pulling a few consecutive all-nighters. I pass out on my bed and stay asleep for a full twelve hours, apparently.”

“Man, that sounds nice.”

“You know, it was. Anyway, I have what has to be the most vivid dream of my life and in my dream I come out to my parents and tell them about MJ and it goes really, really well! I woke up feeling accomplished, thinking that I had this conversation with them at night before going to bed.”

“Ohhhh.” Miles is already grinning. “No, no!”

“Oh, good, so you already know where this is going.” Gwen shakes her head. “So, going under this fake memory, I tell MJ the good news, ask her if she wants to come over for dinner, she says yes. I’d asked my parents if we could have her over and they’d already met her, of course, so it didn’t sound out of place. There’s also the fact that I didn’t mention that she’s my girlfriend when asking, because I thought they were in the loop.”

“And how’d dinner go?”

“Oh, obviously she aced it. MJ is the most endlessly charming person I know and she’s perfect ‘take home to meet the parents’ material, there was never any worry there. I told you they love her, they think she’s a good influence for me.” Gwen laughs a little, sounding almost giddy. “They’re not wrong.”

“Okay, you know I’m happy you have a girlfriend you’re so into, but you can’t just gush about her the whole time to stall.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Gwen says. “Fine, when it was time for her to go I walked her out and kissed her goodnight on our porch. I went back inside and nearly bumped into my parents, standing frozen at the door where they had a decent view out the window of the porch.” Gwen knows that Miles knows she can hear him muffling laughter behind his hand and does not turn to look at his face.

“Uh-huh?” he encourages. 

“Yeah, they stare at me for a second and my mom asks me ‘Um, sweetie is there something you want to tell us?’ and I kinda squint at her and go ‘No? Uh, thanks for the food?’ And then my dad goes and says, ‘I think we’re both a little curious as to why you kissed your friend just now’ all patient like he’s talking to a grade-schooler.

So then I’m more confused and I go ‘what? I kissed her because we’re dating, what do you mean?’ and then my mom says ‘oh! That’s great, kiddo. Why didn’t you want to tell us?’ and then I say ‘what are you talking about I literally told you a few nights ago’ and a debate like that goes on for a while until it hits me that, no, I did not tell my parents that MJ is my girlfriend before kissing her within their line of vision.

And then they kind of made fun of me for thinking I had actually come out to them in a dream and said something like what your parents said about being glad that I could trust them and MJ is welcome anytime.” She pointedly does not look at Miles who is quietly wheezing beside her, doubled over.

“You, ahem.” Miles clears his throat. “You know what, that actually makes me feel better.”

“How nice.” Gwen says, flat. “I know a lot of us, spiders I mean, tend to lack hindsight and sometimes common sense, but shit like this really makes me think it’s also a bit of a cosmic joke being played on us all. Almost like we give up luck when we gain a spider-sense, or something like that.”

“I mean, in both of our cases, we only have ourselves to blame for not being specific enough and ending up on the spot.” Miles points out. “But I’d say we’re both pretty lucky to have good families.”

“Yeah,” Gwen smiles, “They’re really great.”

“I wonder if that’s something – nah, that’s not very likely.”Miles waves off his unfinished thought.

“What is?” Gwen asks.

“Like, do you think there’s a chance all spider people could somehow be LGBT?” Miles wonders. “Now that I say it out loud it’s kinda silly since there’s so many of us and we’re all so different.” Gwen looks at him for a moment, considering.

“There’s a lot we have in common, too.” She says. “I can’t speak for all the possible countless spiders out there, but I’m pretty sure all the spiders we know are also members of the community. Oh wait… damn it.” She makes a face like she had something sour.

“Uh-oh. What’s that look for?” Miles asks.

“I… I’m pretty sure that, between the six of us, Spider-Ham had the most normal coming out.” She groans and Miles laughs a little.

“How so?”

“Well he mentioned it to me after I told him about me and MJ and just. There was nothing outstanding about it. His friends from his world were cool about it and he had complete control over when and how it happened. Compared to the rest of us, his was very normal and I’m a little jealous.” She grimaces.

“As normal as it can be for a radioactive cartoon pig.” Miles says.

“Yeah. Wait, I’m actually not sure if I ever heard Spider-Man Noir say anything about his preferences.”

“Oh, he told me something a while ago when I talked about attending New York Pride in my Spidey suit. Didn’t catch all of it, though.” He admits, sheepish.

“Oh? What’d he say?” Gwen asks.

“That he was proud of me, he admired my moxie, and I couldn’t really make out what the rest of the 30’s slang meant but he did say something about being a ‘confirmed bachelor’ and from his tone I’m pretty sure it means something.” Miles said.

“Ah.” Gwen nodded. “Means he’s gay.”

“Ohhh, okay.” Miles nudged her with his elbow. “So you’re really jealous of Spider-Ham?” 

“Don’t you ever tell him that, especially out of context.” Gwen warns him. “I’m only jealous of how he broke the news, you know? There was nothing embarrassing or illegal about it.” 

“Hm. Wait, illegal?” Miles asks, concerned.

“Oh yeah, well – Peni told you about herself, right?” Gwen tilts her head at him.

“Yeah, that she’s trans?” Miles eyes grow wide. “Are things still shitty for trans people in the future?”

“Most likely, but she’s fine now.” Gwen clarifies. “After her dad died, a few years before we met her, she hacked her way past a few government firewalls to change her name and gender on her official file herself since she couldn’t legally do it as a minor.”

“Oh, shit. Good for her.” Miles nods.

“Yeah, right? Also, she never got caught, she didn’t leave any footprints.” Gwen sounds a little proud. “So it was illegal but, by all means, totally harmless.”

“That’s good.”

“Peter B, on the other hand, had a pretty rough go of it.” Gwen grins wickedly. “He told me that aunt May caught him necking one of his high school friends in his room.”

“Oof.” Miles winces in sympathy.

“Oh, but that’s not all.” Gwen says. “After his friend left and Peter made himself decent, May took him downstairs and had a talk with him. She was also cool about it and asked him not to do anything irresponsible under her roof. Then, in an attempt to make him feel better, she tells him she’s also seeing someone of the same gender. An old co-worker and friend from college she’d reconnected with.” Gwen raises her eyebrows and looks to Miles expectantly.

“Who was it?” He asks, on the edge of his seat.

“The one and only Dr. Olivia Octavius.” Miles gasps and Gwen soaks up his reaction.

“Nooooo!”

“It’s true.”

“Oh, my god.”

“I know.”

“That man has never caught a break in his whole damn life.”

“Yup. So she tells him and he’s immediately filled with every kind of panic and also bitterness towards whatever keeps putting him in these situations. He hadn’t told her about Spider-Man yet and it was kind of already a stressful night for him so he didn’t want to bring it up just then. He hid his emotions well enough to congratulate May and wish them both the best of luck.”

“Dude.” 

“Later on they got married and divorced after a few months when May found Doc Oc trying to steal Peter’s schematics or something to create a Spider-Bot to go around town as him and give him a bad rep.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah. Hey are you hungry? There’s a new sushi place on fifth that’s supposed to have some really good chicken dumplings.” Gwen points in the general direction of fifth and stands up.

“Oh my god, I’m starving.” He groans. “I thought I remembered to bring lunch with me, I haven’t eaten since morning.”

“You carry a lunch with you?” Gwen looks him over. “Where do you keep it?”

“In my pocket, where else?” He answers like it’s obvious. Gwen pulls her mask over her head and squints at him through it.

“You have pockets? You keep food in your pockets?” 

“Yeah, I just said that.”

“Why?”

“So I don’t go hungry.”

“No, why in your pockets?”

“So I don’t lose it? Why is this weird to you?”

“It’s not weird to me, it’s weird, period. What do you even usually take with you?”

“A hamburger.”

“… a hamburger.”

“Yeah.”

“So you just swing around for hours, stopping robberies and murders and costumed baddies with a burger in your pocket the entire time.”

“I keep it in the wrapper so it doesn’t get squished.”

“You say that like it’s supposed to make me judge you less. Geez, just when we were getting into some spider-bonding.”

“I get hungry! That’s not the weirdest thing about me.”

“If you’re hungry, we should get a move on. Not sure how late they’re open.”

“Swing or walk?”

“Swing, save ourselves the trouble. Man, now every time I see you I’m gonna immediately wonder if you have a burger on your person.”

“Most likely, I will.”

Late lunch/ early dinner in the sushi place is just as fun, if not more so than their chat on the roof. Miles cherishes the time he gets to spend with the other spiders, which is short and irregularly planned due to their own responsibilities and the iffy-ness of portal jumping. Miles and Gwen continue their debate on the validity of Miles’ pocket burgers as they look at the menu and decide on two party platters and a plate of dumplings.

Another fun thing about hanging out with other spiders, they’re all bottomless pits just like he is! So there’s no shame in how much fish and rice he eats in an ungodly amount of time because Gwen is already further along her entrée than he is. He knows that if Gwen were just a little less dignified and had pockets, she’d be carrying her food with her like that. He says as much and, to spite him, she steals most of the dumplings before he has time to get his half.

It’s really nice. He hasn’t had a chance to tell his coming out story because, lacking proper context, it only sounds emotional and heartwarming. It certainly was that, but it’s hard for Miles to forget just how close he was to cardiac arrest once he knew what his parents were thinking. It was messy, it was mortifying, it was wonderful.

And now it seems it’s something he has in common with his counters. He swipes his chopsticks under Gwen’s arm to steal back some dumplings and almost loses a few fingers for it. They laugh and roughhouse the socially acceptable amount for a restaurant while Miles takes a second to step back and soak the warmth of the last few hours in, before he has to return home.

Peni put it well four years ago as they said their goodbyes to each other for the first time. It’s nice knowing he’s not alone.

**Author's Note:**

> K before you ask, what I described for Miles is pretty much exactly how I accidentally came out to my own abuelita. She was kind about it, I was just as mortified, but minus the super hero part. Any way Spiders said "GAY RIGHTS!" I'm just the messenger


End file.
